Osvaldo had been living with HIV for most of his life and struggled with addiction for many years. Each time he tried to find help for his mental health, he found himself feeling more isolated than before. That all changed during his first appointment at Lutheran Social Services (LSS) with his mental health counselor, Reggie.
Osvaldo had a challenging and traumatic childhood growing up in Palm Springs, California. When he was diagnosed with HIV earlier in his life, he didn't understand what it meant. Osvaldo received very little education about HIV from others until adulthood. He had been depressed for years and turned to substances to help cope with what he had been through. A friend of his told Osvaldo to try therapy sessions with other members of the community who had HIV, describing how successful these sessions were for him. So, he joined community support meetings and hoped to seek support through group therapy.
When confiding in his peers in the Palm Springs Community during group therapy sessions, Osvaldo found that telling his story left him feeling surprisingly more isolated than he had before. He felt the need to compare his journey of healing from trauma and overcoming addiction to those of other group members. This mindset led him to believe that he was not meeting a preconceived standard of recovery.
“I had hoped to find connection and community within these sessions, but it didn't turn out that way,” Osvaldo told us during an interview. “I felt like I was being judged for how I was diagnosed and my progress with recovering from my addiction. I thought I would find people like me who might understand how I felt, but I only felt shame and was unheard of by everyone around me.”
So, Osvaldo stopped attending group therapy sessions.
Many years later, he started a new life in Jacksonville, Florida. While seeking aid from CAN Community Health, he was referred to the LSS ACE (Advocacy, Care, and Education) Program for further services. Osvaldo met with Reggie over the phone for the first time and said he instantly felt the connection he had been looking for in support groups back in Palm Springs.
“Therapy is my savior. My therapist helped me look at all of the trauma I have been through in my life and helped me to distinguish moments that were not my fault and moments that were my fault,” Osvaldo said, explaining his experiences with his mental health counselor. “The drugs I was doing were not only toxic for my mind and body; it was toxic to everyone around me. Not only was it destroying me but also the ones I love.”
Finally, Osvaldo felt like he had found someone listening to and understanding him. Although group therapy was not for him, Osvaldo found the support he was looking for when he met with Reggie. While with LSS, he learned new ways to begin to heal his trauma while receiving additional care for his diagnosis.
Reggie equipped Osvaldo with self-care tools that could be used daily between their scheduled appointments. One of these tools that he found helpful was journaling, which generally entails writing down one's thoughts to help them process difficult emotions they may feel daily. For Osvaldo, this form of self-care looked different. As he could not read and write, he instead began an audio journal, where he could speak his thoughts aloud and reflect on them later. Among the many tools Reggie equipped him with, this helped with his healing process.
After months, Osvaldo feels confident in pursuing his dreams of restarting his life thanks to the help of LSS ACE Services and CAN Community Health.
Osvaldo’s story exemplifies how one's healing journey isn't linear and will not look the same as another person's. One type of therapy may not work for you as it did for someone else. It is crucial to prioritize your mental health and not give up when it seems challenging to find the right path and methods to healing. While you may not be eligible for LSS ACE program services, there is still support for you and your loved ones in Jacksonville.
Jacksonville, FL Mental Health Resources:
NAMI Jacksonville: NAMI Jacksonville provides free mental health educational and support programs and advocates for more, better-quality services for those affected by mental illness. Click here to learn more on their website.
Mental Health Resource Center, INC.: The Mental Health Resource Center (MHRC) is a Florida nonprofit corporation that provides a wide range of behavioral health and social services to the community. These include 24-hour emergency and inpatient services for adults and adolescents. They also offer several outpatient services, such as psychiatric evaluations, medication management, counseling, and more. Learn more on their website by clicking here.
Rebel Recovery Jacksonville: Rebel Recovery Jax is a caring and committed group of people dedicated to improving the health and lives of people who use drugs, those living with or at risk of HIV/AIDS, and the community at large. All services are free and designed to meet people where they are. They offer a variety of resources, such as community peer support, a recovery community center, and outreach peer support services. You can learn more by visiting their website by clicking here.
Suicide Hotline Number: 9-8-8 to speak to someone about emergency mental health services.
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